If you are one of the 100,000 people planning to venture to Kingston Heath for a glimpse of Tiger Woods at this year’s Masters, it is important that you read on from paragraph three.
If you haven’t got a ticket you will probably see more shots played by the World No.1 by watching him on TV.
Now, for those heading to Kingston Heath for one or more days of the Masters you are in for a treat. The experience of hearing him hit and seeing Tiger’s ball flight simply cannot be fully appreciated from your lounge room.
Tiger’s star has risen substantially since he was last on our shores in 1998, which means we’ve probably never really experienced a good dose of Tigermania.
I have experienced the toil that comes with tailing Tiger during a tournament and, through, 18 holes it can be hard work.
My first encounter with Tigermania was during the third round of the 1996 Australian Open in Sydney, and it led to a chance encounter with Woods.
I was mingling with the galleries in researching a story on what it was like to be among the crowds trying to get a glimpse of Woods and observing how the young man handled the attention. After trekking 14 holes of The Australian GC in sultry conditions, nature was calling … screaming actually. A portable toilet between the 14th green and 15th tee was never more welcomed. I raced inside as Tiger’s group putted out.
In my haste, I didn’t realise Woods knocked his approach stone dead and he had quickly tapped in for his birdie and made a similar beeline for the men’s. I had just finished when a man barrelled inside just as I was turning with zip in hand. My substantial shoulder caught him in the side, forcing him off balance for a split second. Then I realised it was Tiger. All I could blurt out was, “sorry ‘bout that mate.”
“No problem,” he replied, taking up his position at the urinal. But I digress.
If you are expecting to walk shot by shot with Tiger during Masters week, you’d better be equipped with a small step ladder or be able to cover the hundred as quick as Usain Bolt. Otherwise, there are going to be several holes where all you will see is the swoosh on Woods’ Nike hat scooting by.
The biggest crowds in Australian golfing history will descend on Kingston Heath between November 12 and 15. To give you an idea of what it will be like, imagine this. You’re standing courtside at Rod Laver Arena with 20,000 other people, hoping to see Roger Federer hit a serve. You might just see the top of the racquet.
Bearing this in mind, here are some valuable tips for enhancing your Tiger viewing experience at the Masters.
1. Get your day off to a good start and leave home early. Parking near Kingston Heath is going to be tight.
2. Once you are in the gate, get a program with the map of the course and establish a “Tiger plan”. As previously mentioned, you can’t possibly follow Tiger shot for shot so you need to find five or six spots around the course where you can park yourself and let the phenom come to you.
3. If you are old enough to remember what it is like to hit a persimmon driver you are too old to climb a tree for a better view of play. Just imagine how embarrassing it will be when the fire brigade has to be called to the course to pluck you from the tree limb 20 foot above the ground. Also, think the further embarrassment when it makes the evening news.
4. If you are less than 183cm tall, 6 feet in the old money, consider a millk crate to give you a boost if your option is to follow all of Tiger’s round.
5. Whatever you do, don’t piss Steve Williams off. He has been known to dress down spectators and even throw cameras into water hazards. Keep your distance.
6. Don’t Tiger’s playing partners. Respect the other players in his group by not moving until everyone has putted out on a hole.
7. If you plan to dress in a full body costume, make sure you put lashings of deodorant under the armpits. Also, see if you can be more original than dressing as a tiger.
8. Don’t expect to get an autograph from the World No.1. He will be mobbed and there will be so many security types, and Stevie, around him you will be very lucky to get anything signed. I repeat tip No.5: Whatever you do, don’t piss Steve Williams off.
Apart from that, have a great time!
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